You guys are really blowing it. I'm not gonna reveal how many entries I've received so far for the THIRD ANNUAL ILLCON COLORING CONTEST, but I'll say one thing: it ain't very many. The ones I have received thus far are great, sure. REALLY great. But I can count them on (less than) one hand. Come on, fuckers. Let's flex that big, sexy Creativity Muscle, eh? Do you really need to watch that Jersey Shore rerun for a fourth time? We all know what happens: Sammy and Ronnie break up. Sammy and Ronnie get back together. Snookie acts like a whore. Episode over.
Turn off your TV. Bust out the crayons. MAKE SOME ART. You know what? I'm such a Bro, I ain't even gonna put it all on YOU. I'm willing to entertain the idea that it's MY fault you guys are being douchey, that maybe MY coloring designs weren't up to snuff this year. So I actually went out and created a half dozen MORE designs, and the process of doing which took no less than a full 24-hour day (maybe).
Here they are.
Shit's due on APRIL FOOL'S DAY. Allow me to repeat: THE WINNER WILL RECEIVE AN ACTUAL, PHYSICAL, AWESOME PRIZE.
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