Nice hat, Dad.Everybody needs to just chill the fuck out. Seriously. Let's take a step back and look at the world's problems. I know it's a tall order, but bear with me on this. All the bullshit, man: war, politics, pollution, murder, injustice, strife, genocide, blah blah blah... Why? Why are we stricken with these avatars of evil, these manifestations of man's hatred toward himself?
I'll tell you why: because MOTHERFUCKERS DON'T KNOW HOW TO CHILL THE FUCK OUT. "The Guys in Charge" are full of stress and anger, and their mismanaged tensions are expressed through acts of aggression and wild grabs for the foolish concept of "power". They are unable to chill and just be Bros, so driven are they by lust for money and the urge to dictate the rights and thoughts of others. They need a bongload. They need a Ritalin. They need a fucking Quaalude. Imagine what a better place the world would be if The Guys in Charge figured that one out.
Seriously. CHILL THE FUCK OUT.
SPOOKY TOOTH - SPOOKY TWO (1969)
Speaking of chilling the fuck out, Spooky Tooth knew how to do just that, and display such knowledge accordingly on their second (and best) LP, Spooky Two. These hairy freaks are no stranger to the stray bongload, this much I can guarantee, and their crispy-ass tunes are bound to appeal to both the Bearded Hessian and the Flower Child. Sporting not one but two keyboard players, the Tooth's jams are darker and heavier than just about anything else that could be found at the time (see "Evil Woman" or "Hangman Hang My Shell On A Tree"), with lyrical content occasionally lapsing over into a style verging on "morbid".
Now, I'm sure most of you are aware of Metallica's fondness for late 70's/early 80's NWOBHM, and the resulting attention that their obsession cast onto nearly-forgotten bands like Angel Witch, Budgie, or Blitzkreig in the late 80's. Well, Spooky Tooth experienced a similar resurgance in popularity via heavy metal, but in their case it was Judas Priest who cast the proverbial flashlight on their obscurity, covering the Tooth jam "Better By You, Better Than Me" on their 1978 album Stained Class. The fact that this song in particular was singled out in a trial in 1990, alleging that the Priest version contained subliminal messages urging suicide, guaranteed Spooky Tooth's inclusion in the ol' rock and roll history books--for better or worse.
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Eric Stoltz?Spooky Tooth on Last.FM
SALEM MASS - WITCH BURNING (1971)
Man, it just doesn't get much more chill than this sucker right here.
Don't be fooled by the title, band name, or album cover--the Satanic evil present in the music of Salem Mass is minimal, present in more of a conceptual/aesthetic manner than any sort of real, LaVey-ish dedication to the Dark Prince. What you do get is a shitload of laid-back, proto-psych jams laden with almost ridiculous amounts of organ noodling, almost poppy at points but refreshingly dark once the ten-plus-minute title track rolls around.
These dudes hailed from the frozen, hoary wastes of Sun Valley, Idaho, forming, recording this album, and breaking up all within the same year. Witch Burning is a testament to their almost-entirely uncelebrated genius, a trippy little treasure mired in a sea of mediocrity. May it guide you pure and true in your never-ending quest to CHILL THE FUCK OUT.
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Salem Mass on Last.FM
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