BULLSHIT FOR SHITTY BOY

"A BULLET FOR PRETTY BOY"?!?! Are you fucking serious?!?! You named your fucking band "A Bullet For Fucking Pretty Boy"?!?! Why in the name of all things holy and sacred would you give your fucking band such a fucking stupid fucking name!?!? I mean, I've heard some shitty "metal" band names in my time: We Butter Our Bread With Butter, The Tony Danza Tap Dance Extravaganza, The Forrest Gump Mile High Marathon... But I mean, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, MAN! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL? Your band name was unbelievably shitty even the FIRST time I heard it... When it was BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE. But this... Fuck, man....

Let me guess, you fucking idiots play some sort of "hardcore-infused Christian metal", right? I'd be willing to bet ANYTHING that Jesus is involved with your whole stupid fucking trip somehow. Let's see... Checking your page on "Myspace Beta" (WTF?)...

BAM! "Hardcore/Christian/Ambient"! In your OWN FUCKING WORDS!!!
Let me give you one quick tip here, you fucking sorry-ass gaggle of limp-wristed pussy-farts: those three words, "hardcore", "Christian", and "ambient"--THEY DON'T BELONG TOGETHER. IN ANY SITUATION. EVER.

You are scum. Your music is shit. PLEASE kill yourself.

LOL @ "Live Love"'s fucking sandals

Oh, this is just fucking GREAT. A fucking acoustic set... At fucking Hot Topic!?!? Jesus fucking nail-shitting asshole of Christ! YOU fuckers are the reason I grind my teeth when I sleep. YOU are the reason I feel the need to choke out every floppy-haired, tight-pantsed kid rocking an Iron Maiden shirt I see on Haight Street. You're ruining everything. You have no soul.

I understand why you guys are doing this, I guess. For kids your age, "hardcore" and "metal" mean the exact opposite of what they did 10, 15, 20, shit, 30 years ago. This is music for the "cool" kids now, a style that, if you conform to the exact rules and regulations, might score you a record deal (it did), shit, might even lead to you getting laid. OH WAIT, you little weasels are CHRISTIAN, riiight. Let's change that last part to "might even lead to some really HOT hand-holding" (or whatever it is you poor, deluded, asexual boy-waifs do to girls). My point is this: You turds are simply conforming to an established market, to appear "stylish" and maybe make a couple bucks. Your parents bought your tour van and give you a free place to live, right? Sure. I don't fault you for that. Take the free ride, let Daddy's lawfirm foot the bill.
What does offend me is the COMPLETE LACK OF AESTHETIC VALUE, THE VAPID, SOULLESS "MUSIC", and, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, THAT TERRIBLE FUCKING EXCUSE FOR A "BAND NAME"... "A Bullet For Pretty Boy"? I still can't believe it.

It's bad enough that Watain is fucking shilling for Scion and Judas Priest is selling Hondas, OK? We don't need any more help commodifying metal. Especially from ineffectual, misled panty-wastes like you.

LET JESUS TITTY-FUCK YOU! LET JESUS TITTY-FUCK YOU!!!

Just to make everything 100%, absolutely fucking CRYSTAL clear, allow me to sum up my thoughts here:

YOUR GOD DOESN'T EXIST AND YOUR MUSIC IS LOWER THAN THE LOWEST IMAGINABLE FORM OF ROTTING, PURULENT PIGSHIT. IF THERE EVER WAS A "JESUS" (AND THERE WASN'T), HE WOULD TURN HIS BACK ON YOU AND CAST YOU OUT OF HIS FLOCK, IF ONLY TO CONVINCE YOU TO PUT DOWN YOUR GUITARS, YOUR KEYBOARDS, YOUR DRUMSTICKS, YOUR MICROPHONES, AND JUST WALK AWAY... WALK AWAY FROM "MUSIC" FOREVER, ALWAYS, FOR ETERNITY. DON'T EVER, EVER, EVER COME BACK. YOUR "INPUT" IS NOT NEEDED. GET A JOB, STOP LIVING OFF YOUR PARENTS, GO FAR, FAR, FAR AWAY FROM US--THE PEOPLE WHO APPRECIATE REAL MUSIC, MUSIC WITH SOUL, MUSIC WITH INTEGRITY, MUSIC WITH FUCKING BALLS!