MONDAY MORNING SCIENCE CORNER: Ichneumonidae

 Ichneumonidae are a large family of wasps in the order Hymenoptera (wasps, bees and ants), They are identifiable because of their antennae-which have more segments most other wasps, extremely long ovipositors(egg laying structures)-often longer than their body, and their wing structure is different than other families if you want to get technical about it. They often have long cigar shaped abdomen, but not in all species.
Ichneumonidae is my favorite family of insects and a strong contender for Most Metal Organism. They earn my vote for this honor with: 1. sheer brutality, 2: literal metal and 3. a Christopher Hitchens-like disdain for god and religion. And they just look fucking cool:

1. Sheer Brutality

Most ichneumon species are parasitoids, the adult laying eggs in the host and the larvae developing within the host's body, often killing it. The main hosts for ichneumons are larvae of other insects. The female injects the eggs with her ovipositor(s), sometimes drilling into the tree that the host is living in. By sensing vibrations made by the host, she can locate it, drill into the tree and lay her eggs in it, through sometimes inches of wood.

Here is the process step by step: (from Wikipedia [check it out because the pic is much bigger])

1. Tapping with her antennae, the wasp detects and localizes scent and vibrations that indicate a host is present.
2. With the longer ovipositor, the wasp drills a hole through the bark.
3. The wasp inserts the ovipositor into the cavity which contains the host larva.
4. Making corrections.
5. Depositing her eggs.
6. Depositing her eggs.

Some species inject venom along with the eggs. The eggs hatch and the larvae develop in the host, feeding off it and killing it before emerging as an adult.

Here's a cool vid from the excellent Life in Undergrowth series on the BBC about an ichneumon that parasitizes caterpillars that live inside ant's nests:

Pretty brutal lifestyle or what?

2. Actually Metal

How do ichneumonids drill into the tree that the host lives in with just a thin ovipositor? How do the adults get out of the tree when they emerge from the host? The tip of the females ovipositor and the adults' mandibles in some species are tipped with actual METAL (zinc or maganese).

3. Disdain for Religion

Philosophers, theologians and naturalists were troubled by the cruelty and br00tality exhibited by organisms such as ichneumonid wasps and cuckoos. How could god create creatures that are so cruel if he is benevolent? Charles Darwin himself wrote:

I own that I cannot see as plainly as others do, and as I should wish to do, evidence of design and beneficence on all sides of us. There seems to me too much misery in the world. I cannot persuade myself that a beneficent and omnipotent God would have designedly created the Ichneumonidae with the express intention of their feeding within the living bodies of Caterpillars, or that a cat should play with mice.

Parasites like ichneumonids and cuckoos are and excellent challenge to the benevolence of god and creationism. In real life, shit like "cruelty" and "kindness" don't factor into survival, which is all that matters. As Darwin put it: "Let the strong survive and the weak perish."

All in all pretty fucking metal, and certainly at the top of my list for Most Metal Organism. And before yall get any ideas, I got dibs on writing a song about these sexy hellbeasts.

MONDAY MORNING SCIENCE CORNER: Amorphophallus titanum AKA The Stench of Death And Decay

Man, DoomUnicorn has been breaching all kinds of etiquette lately. Not only did he come out of nowhere with this whole "IllCon East vs. IllCon West" feud (see last post), but he added insult to injury by posting pornogrind on a Monday, which we all know is verboten. Not only that, but the guy spelled "cryptosporidium" wrong multiple times in said post--I mean, who spells "cryptosporidium" incorrectly? Rookie moves, man. Rookie moves.

Anyhow, West Coast Envy notwithstanding, we now return you to your scheduled program: Monday Morning Science Corner, the CORRECT, educated, West Coast version of Monday mornings at ICHQ. Today's subject is the "corpse flower" AKA "carrion flower", a topic recommended by These A Beast--who I thank graciously, and forgive for living on the wretched East Coast of these United States.

Wikipedia: The titan arum or Amorphophallus titanum (from Ancient Greek amorphos, "without form, misshapen" + phallos, "phallus", and titan, "giant" = "Giant Misshapen Penis") is a flowering plant with the largest unbranched inflorescence in the world. The titan arum's inflorescence is not as large as that of the Talipot palm, Corypha umbraculifera, but the inflorescence of the Talipot palm is branched rather than unbranched.
Due to its odor, which is reminiscent of the smell of a decomposing mammal, the titan arum is characterized as a carrion flower, and is also known as the "corpse flower", or "corpse plant" (Indonesian: bunga bangkai – bunga means flower, while bangkai means corpse or cadaver). For the same reason, the title "corpse flower" is also attributed to the genus Rafflesia which, like the titan arum, grows in the rainforests of Sumatra.

Sumatra is also known for its vicious Rat Monkeys

The titan arum's inflorescence can reach over 3 metres (10 ft) in height. Like the related cuckoo pint and calla lily, it consists of a fragrant spadix of flowers wrapped by a spathe, which looks like a large petal. In the case of the titan arum, the spathe is green on the outside and dark burgundy red on the inside, and deeply furrowed. The spadix is hollow and resembles a large loaf of French bread. The upper, visible portion of the spadix is covered in pollen, while its lower extremity is spangled with bright red-orange carpels. The "fragrance" of the titan arum resembles rotting meat, attracting carrion-eating beetles and Flesh Flies (family Sarcophagidae) that pollinate it. The inflorescence's deep red color and texture contribute to the illusion that the spathe is a piece of meat. During bloom, the tip of the spadix is approximately human body temperature, which helps the perfume volatilize; this heat is also believed to assist in the illusion that attracts carcass-eating insects.
After the flower dies back, a single leaf, which reaches the size of a small tree, grows from the underground corm. The leaf grows on a semi-green stalk that branches into three sections at the top, each containing many leaflets. The leaf structure can reach up to 6 metres (20 ft) tall and 5 metres (16 ft) across. Each year, the old leaf dies and a new one grows in its place. When the corm has stored enough energy, it becomes dormant for about 4 months. Then, the process repeats.
The corm is the largest known, weighing around 50 kilograms (110 lb). When a specimen at the Princess of Wales Conservatory, Kew Gardens, was repotted after its dormant period, the weight was recorded as 91 kilograms (200 lb).

Above: Visual approximation of Amorphophallus titanum's bloom odor

Left: related "corpse flower" species Rafflesia.

So let's see here: Amorphophallus titanum is a flower that a) comes from the very-metal location of Sumatra, b) grows to as much as 20 feet tall and 16 feet wide, c) blooms only after 7-15 years of life, d) has a Latin name that means "giant, misshapen dick", and e) mimics the smell (and appearance, and temperature) of rotting flesh to attract insects.
Holy fuck. That is Very Metal.

For a fucking flower, I mean.



Titan arum blooming in time lapse:



And lastly, David Attenborough breaks it down:




PS: Speaking of shit that stinks, Episode 16 of IllCon Radio is now up for download and streaming HERE. Learn about the deep UFOlogy behind Blink 182, Alan Moore’s masturbation sorcery, and the soon-to-be-released Grateful Dead MMORPG!

Lots of really cool stuff is coming up on the show in January as well, including an in-depth study of the conspiracy theories connected to Kubrick's The Shining (hint: it's a palindrome), an interview with Peaches Christ, an entire episode about Disney's ties to mind control, Illuminati symbolism, and Satan, and the return of the almighty Freeman. Turn on, tune in, and HESH OUT!

MONDAY MORNING SCIENCE CORNER: Armillaria solidipes AKA The Most Metal Thing You've Ever Read

Wikipedia: Armillaria solidipes (formerly Armillaria ostoyae) is a species of fungus in the Physalacriaceae family. It is the most common variant in the western U.S., of the group of species that all used to share the name Armillaria mellea. Armillaria solidipes is quite common on both hardwood and conifer wood in forests west of the Cascade crest. The mycelium attacks the sapwood and is able to travel great distances under the bark or between trees in the form of black rhizomorphs ("shoestrings").

Here's where it gets heavy:

It is known to be one of the largest living organisms, where scientists have estimated a single specimen found in Malheur National Forest in Oregon to have been growing for some 2,400 years, covering 3.4 square miles. Armillaria solidipes grows and spreads primarily underground and the bulk of the organism lies in the ground, out of sight. Therefore, the organism is not visible to anyone viewing from the surface. It is only in the autumn when this organism will bloom “honey mushrooms”, visible evidence of the organism lying beneath. Low competition for land and nutrients have allowed this organism to grow so huge and become arguably the largest living organism.

3.4 SQUARE MILES.
That's 8.9 SQUARE KILOMETRES.
That's 2,200 ACRES.
That's 94,786,560 SQUARE FEET.



Biologists estimate the weight of the colony to be somewhere in the neighborhood of 600 tons. That's the equivalent weight of three pregnant, adult blue whales, the world's largest known mammal.

Is your brain okay?

Maybe you should cool down by watching this video--depicting an Armillaria mellea mycelium bioluminescence display in time-lapse (condensed from one week to 18 seconds)--on repeat for a little while:



Now go 'Like' Armillaria solidipes on Facebook! (I was the third person to do so, get in now before it's "cool"!)

The Hellstrom Chronicle: BOW TO YOUR INSECT OVERLORDS!

Exognathous hexapods, or insects (class Insecta), are natures most successful animals. There are by far the most numerous of all animal classes, both in number of species and individuals.
Their success has been due to a myriad of adaptions that allow them to occupy every single terrestrial niche: highly variable mouthparts, protective exoskeleton, wings, complete metamorphosis, adaptive feet and  rapid reproduction. Insects are fungovores, detritovores, herbivores, carnivores and both ecto- and endoparasites. Some have several feeding strategies at different stages  their lifespan. In a way insects mastery of the earth makes them the ultimate life forms. Think your some hot shit as a human? Look to the insects...

Such is the premise of my favorite sci-fi/psuedodocumentary: 1971s The Hellstrom Chronicle.

Let me explain: this is basically your standard nature documentary like BBC's Life in the Undergrowth, but instead of David Attenborough we have the fictional Dr. Nils Hellstrom (played by Lawrence Pressman): a Lovecraftian prophet of man's doom at the hands of insects. Imagine old HP was asked to write the script for a Discovery Channel nature special on insects, and you have The Hellstrom Chronicle. Through the film he elaborates on insects adaption to their environment, claiming that they will inherit the earth from humans once we finally do ourselves in. Sometimes his narration will border philosophy, but its not so bad and I'm pretty sure Travis Ryan approves.


Coupled with the bleak narration the films has some incredible close photography of insects. Battle scenes, feeding, birth, pupating and mating are shown with brilliant detail (as much as youtube allows). Fortunately the entire film is on the youtube, enjoy:

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 , 8, 9, 10, 11

Best parts: ant (Formicidae) vs. termite (Isoptera) battle, retarded fake hidden camera footage, locusts swarming (locusts are actually the same as grasshoppers [Acrididae], the difference is in behavior and many locusts have solitary phases in addition to gregarious ones), insects mating to easy listening music, closeups of termite queens, beewolfs (Philanthus) killing bees (Anthophila) and driver ants (Dorylus) killing a chameleon (Chameleonidae).

Though some of the conclusions are pretty hokey, this film is very interesting and will give you a new perspective on things. Just take everything with a grain of salt. This is still a very fun and interesting film, worth many repeat views. 

This film had such an effect on writer Frank Herbert (of Dune fame) that he was inspired to  write Hellstrom's Hive after seeing it. Its about a secret government agency investigating Dr. Nils Hellstrom, gradually it is revealed that Hellstrom leads a group of humans who model their society after social insects... Great read, probably Herbert's best after the Dune series.

I tried to find a insect themed metal band and the best I could think of was Ash Borer. Named after Podosesia syringae, a clearwing moth that is a serious plant pest in the eastern US. There is also a beetle called the Emerald Ash Borer (Agrilus planipennis), but if that's what they wanted to be named after they should have been more specific or used the scientific name. They play a typically Cascadian brand of melodic and doomy black metal.

"...lean the inevitable destiny of ignorance."

Fuckin Dolphins. How do they work?

I'm another of Shelby's new hacks. I'm holed up in Flagstaff, AZ studying biology, droppin mad science wif defiance. Here's some crazy developments in the wild world of biology: Dolphins have electroreception.


Absolutely necessary for living in space.
 

Electroreception is the ability to sense electrical fields in animals. Humans don’t really have this without the use of a fork in a wall socket (please don't try this). Sharks famously do, as do rays, electric eels some other Gymnotiformes and Monotremes (primitive egg laying mammals: platypus and echidnas) recently it has been discovered in dolphins. Sharks and other fish use the Ampullae of Lorenzini, gel filled pores derived from their lateral line. Monotremes use free nerve endings on their snout. Dolphins use what remains of their whiskers, left over from their terrestrial days.

Soon to come again…

It has been suspected that Guyana dolphins (Sotalia guianensis) have the ability to sense electrical fields because they hunt on the seafloor where sediment can cloud the water, obscuring sight and echolocation. Additionally they have unusually large vibrissal cysts (modified whisker clusters) on their snout. If these were useless they would have withered in a similar fashion to what’s left of your tail. German researchers dissected vibrissal cysts in a dead (of natural causes, so they didn’t piss off PETA and Travis Ryan) Guyana dolphin. They found that the vibrissal cysts were not only surrounded by a capillary mesh instead of the blood sinus found in the whiskers of normal mammals, they also had a large amount of nerve endings: about 300 (in other mammals the number is about 80-200)

Closeup of vibrissal cysts

They also trained a captive dolphin to hold its head between two electrodes and react if a current passed through them. They found that the dolphin could react to stimuli of 4.6 µV cm⁻¹ (much smaller to the field generated by a small fish)

This is a prime example of convergent evolution. This sense has been evolved separately at least 3 times by different groups of animals (fish, Monotremes and dolphins), each using different anatomical structures to accomplish the same task, like birds, bats and insects evolving flight separately. This study was published July 2011 and it appears that electroreception in dolphins and other cetaceans has not been studied further than the Guyana dolphins; perhaps your good old fashioned bottlenose dolphins (Tursiops truncatus) have this sense? How does this affect us? Not at all.
If you have any questions please put them in the comment and ill try to answer them the best I can. Hope you learned something.

-Judge Shredd

Get cited (you probobally will not be able to read the article without a liscence):

Czech-Damal, N. U., Liebschner, A., Miersch, L., Klauer, G., Hanke, F. D., Marshall, C., et al. (2011). Electroreception in the Guiana dolphin (Sotalia guianensis) . Proceedings of the Royal Society of Biological Sciences , doi:10.1098/rspb.2011.1127.


 

Dang, three days in a row of new writers! More on the way, too... Anyhow, The Judge is pretty smart about science and whatnot, but don't worry, he likes metal, too. We look forward to his future contributions, whether they be based in biology or crippling shred. HAIL.

- Cobras

XTRO-ORDINARY

"Garbage is the operative word."

Siskel & Ebert... Man, what a couple of fun-hating buttholes. Case in point: they're gonna bag on XTRO? Fucking XTRO?!!? "Mean-spirited"? "Abysmal"? "Garbage"? You're lucky you're fucking dead, Gene Siskel, or else Cobras would have one Hell of a score to settle with you.
For my sci-fi/horror dollar, it just doesn't get any better than this 1983 masterpiece, written and directed by British helmsman Harry Bromley Davenport. Davenport has rarely ventured outside the XTRO franchise for the remainder of his film career, which can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on who you ask. I figured we're loooong overdue for an XTRO post on IllCon, after all, can any of you think of a film more pertinent to I.C interests? XTRO has it all: a super-low budget, awesome special effects, good ideas, humor (both intentional and unintentional), aliens, shitloads of gore and arterial spray, an ultra-spacey electronic soundtrack, a dude eating raw snake eggs, and, best of all, a woman giving very graphic birth to a full-grown man.


"XTRO! BEARING POWERS OF BLACK MAGIC FROM OUTER SPACE!"

XTRO is far more than just your run-of-the-mill 'alien intruder' genre flick, it does of course begin with your standard spaceship crash but spins out of control into something far more surreal rather quickly. By the end of the film, it has morphed into some sort of Satanic mashup between Alien, House By The Cemetary, Killer Klowns From Outer Space, and Toy Story (no, really), causing one to invariably wonder: what the fuck was Harry Bromley Davenport smoking, and why didn't he share?
In reality, it's probably been 5 years or more since I've seen this movie, but the highlights are burned into my brain with an eerie permanence--which I guess is the primary goal of a shocksploitation film like as this one. Badmovies.org has quoted Davenport in confirmation as such: "(I) set out to do the most disgusting things that we could get away with. And if I'd had it my way, they would have been more disgusting." He also called the film an "extraordinary mess" and "rubbish".


XTRO is currently scored as "20% fresh" on Rotten Tomatoes (2% lower than Sucker Punch), which I find totally understandable considering the average person's shitty taste in movies. This movie just ISN'T FOR 99% of the population. But c'mon... How could you possibly take issue with a scene like this?:



As always, I guess we need to take a moment to discuss the (mostly inconsequential) plot. There's a dad, and a kid, and a wife, then some gratuitous boobie shots and stuff, then a bunch of alien-murder, and cocoons, and a midget clown, and a death-by-random-panther scene... Wait, what?

Let's start over. We start with the aforementioned spacecraft crashing in a swamp somewhere in Britain, and it is eventually revealed that said spacecraft formerly housed a really creepy, gooey alien that looks suspiciously like a dude on all fours with a backwards mask on. Said alien proceeds to spirit away the aforementioned Father, possessing his body and then disappearing for three full years.

Upon Daddy's re-appearance on the Family Scene, things start to get pretty goofy. Mom's pissed that he bailed for all that time, and it is then exposed that she has since taken up with a dorky new fella who in turn harbors a deep mistrust of the magically-reappeared Dad. Of course, we all know he's possessed by an alien, so it's no surprise when he starts doing zany shit like sucking on his son's neck, or chowing down on raw snake eggs, or, y'know, impregnating random cottage-dwelling women of the British countryside with Martian embryos. Oh yeah, and killing people.


As a result of his old man's neck-sucking (apparently aliens reproduce a la vampire), the Youngster (Sam) starts doing some pretty wacky shit too, like killing his neighbor and bringing a bunch of his toys to life (hence the Toy Story reference and also, for some reason, the midget clown), and by the time Mom and Dorky Boyfriend catch on to what's happening, the proverbial "fit" has alreready hit the equally-proverbial "shan".
This movie just gets weirder and weirder and weirder as it progresses. Trust me.

I'm sure that at this point you guys are all super-pumped on XTRO, and hankering for its respective sequels. Well, I regret to inform you that its 1991 sequel XTRO 2: The Second Encounter, starring Airwolf star Jan Michael Vincent (right), is a big old boring pile of shit (in fact I ranked it among the worst sequels of all time way back here), and its second sequel, 1995's XTRO 3: Watch The Skies, ain't much better. So that sucks.
You can't win 'em all, I guess. But you can still try: Last year, Harry Bromley Davenport announced plans to begin production on XTRO 4, and although no release date has been set as of yet, I think it's safe to assume that it will at least be.... Interesting?
Who knows? Garbage is the operative word.


No.


No.

Yes.

Watch it on YouTube/Get it on Netflix/Buy VHS/Buy DVD/Ride a rollercoaster with The Rock.

PS I would literally give birth to a full-grown man out of my butthole for a copy of the XTRO OST. Any help?

GOOD NEWS EVERYONE!

Holy shit, during the course of my research for this post, I fucking accidentally found it. Original soundtrack by XTRO auteur Harry Bromley Davenport himself! I've seriously been looking for this sucker for years--it is amazing stuff, especially if you're into that whole psychedelic/sci-fi Moog shit that Tomita and Carlos do so well. Which I am.

Joy!

BLACK MAGIC FROM SPACE

A CONSPIRACY TO END ALL CONSPIRACIES: The Stanggressive Hyperbole of Alex Jones Finally Dovetails Into Undeniable Truth

ATTENTION SHEEPLE!
The biggest news story of the year just broke, and chances are you haven't heard a goddamn thing about it. This is HUGE, nigh unto Earth-shattering. I want you to watch the following video very, very closely, for it holds the key to our collective future as a cohesive human civilization.
Behold:


PS: "Stanggressive" = "Stupid" + "Angry" + "Aggressive".

Now, I'm no friend of Alex Jones. I thought his infiltration of the Bohemian Grove Owl Orgies was pretty cool, but beyond that, his Limbaugh-esque demeanor and penchant for unneccesary shouting has kept me away. He's a douche, long story short, and, like fellow circus barker Glenn Beck, makes up for lack of substance with an overabundance of volume.

But HOLY SHIT has he blown this one wide open.

I'm sure we're all aware of the Bilderberg Group already, but the revelation that these power-hungry Illuminati overlords are controlled by multi-dimensional aliens via DMT vision-quests? Fucking Hell! Where's the CNN coverage? MSNBC? The Daily Show?
Anything?



Jones' assertation that Dimethyltryptamine hallucinations guide the major power decisions made by the ruling financial elite is nothing short of a total revelation for society as we know it, and the fact that mainstream media has ignored the story only strengthens its case. The shape-shifting DMT "machine elves" that Jones refers to in the above video are the true manipulators of all the major media outlets, after all, hence their total silence on the matter.

But let's take a minute to discuss these "elves". Originally popularized by psychedelic guru Terence McKenna (left), these multi-dimensional creatures choose to communicate via drugs like ayahuasca (which contains Dimethyltryptamine), and appear in the lore of many cultures accross the globe. Machine elves (also known as "fractal elves" or "self-transforming elf machines") are totally real, and their existence can be proven by the fact that they have a Wikipedia page.

Check out McKenna's description of the Fractal Elf/DMT experience from said page:

At about minute one or two of a DMT trip, according to McKenna, one may burst through a chrysanthemum-like mandala, and find:

There's a whole bunch of entities waiting on the other side, saying "How wonderful that you're here! You come so rarely! We're so delighted to see you!"
They're like jewelled self-dribbling basketballs and there are many of them and they come pounding toward you and they will stop in front of you and vibrate, but then they do a very disconcerting thing, which is they jump into your body and then they jump back out again and the whole thing is going on in a high-speed mode where you're being presented with thousands of details per second and you can't get a hold on [them ...] and these things are saying "Don't give in to astonishment", which is exactly what you want to do. You want to go nuts with how crazy this is, and they say "Don't do that. Pay attention to what we're doing".



What they're doing is making objects with their voices, singing structures into existence. They offer things to you, saying "Look at this! Look at this!" and as your attention goes towards these objects you realise that what you're being shown is impossible. It's not simply intricate, beautiful and hard to manufacture, it's impossible to make these things. The nearest analogy would be the Fabergé eggs, but these things are like the toys that are scattered around the nursery inside a U.F.O., celestial toys, and the toys themselves appear to be somehow alive and can sing other objects into existence, so what's happening is this proliferation of elf gifts, which are moving around singing, and they are saying "Do what we are doing" and they are very insistent, and they say "Do it! Do it! Do it!" and you feel like a bubble inside your body beginning to move up toward your mouth, and when it comes out it isn't sound, it's vision. You discover that you can pump "stuff" out of your mouth by singing, and they're urging you to do this. They say "That's it! That's it! Keep doing it!".

We're now at minute 4.5 [of the trip] and you speak in a kind of glossolalia. There is a spontaneous outpouring of syntax unaccompanied by what is normally called "meaning". After a minute or so of this the whole thing begins to collapse in on itself and they begin to physically move away from you. Usually their final shot is that they wave goodbye and say "Deja vu! Deja vu!".



From Terence McKennaLand: Terence McKenna (1946—2000) has been studying the ontological foundations of Shamanism and the Ethnopharmacology of spiritual transformation for the past quarter century. An innovative theoretician and spellbinding orator, Terence has emerged as a powerful voice for the psychedelic movement and the emergent societal tendency he calls The Archaic Revival. Poetically dispensing enlightened social criticism and new theories of the fractal dynamics of time, Terence deobfuscates many aspects of the visionary lexicon, and then some. As Artist Alex Grey suggests, "In the twilight of human history, McKenna's prescription for salvation is just so crazy it might work."

"Joe Rogan knows what I'm talking about."

Whoa. That's a whole SHITLOAD of information to process. First, that the existence of Fractal Elves is a very real and provable fact, but second (and most importantly), that said Elves are a MALEVOLENT, EXTRA-DIMENSIONAL ALIEN FORCE!
I can't say it's much of a surprise: as Mr. Jones said before, politicians often stumble about in a weird, zombie-like haze, and the fact that they are all tripping super fucking hard on DMT all the time explains quite a bit.
The wool has been pulled back, revealing what I think many of us suspected already: The Bilderberger/Illuminati/reptilians are high as shit on hallucinogens, communicating through channels undiscovered by modern science with malevolent robot elves. Fuck.



OF COURSE this is why the Bible forbids drug use! It all makes so much sense now!

1 Peter 5:8 - "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."

Galatians 5:19-21 - "Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God."

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 - "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

Translation: "Don't trip on DMT, it will make you see the Fractal Elves that control the government, bro."

A simple equation:











^^^You.

So there you go. I am again forced into a grudging, mutual-respect-based stalemate with Alex Jones, based solely on his unwavering dedication to truth and justice. Illogical Contraption salutes you, Mr. Jones, and we pledge our allegiance to you in the upcoming battle with the Annunaki-reptilian/Fractal-based self-transforming elf machines. You have once again exposed The Man Behind The Curtain, and this time, when he approaches in the guise of a "jewelled self-dribbling basketball", we will see him for what he is: pure, unadulterated EVIL.

ALEX JONES: WINNING.