We all know that there are plenty of things better than Star Wars and Illcon has made this public knowledge before. I mean, George Lucas has been shitting on his fans for quite some time now, what do you owe him? Nothing. Today's record is something that is also better than Star Wars.
The little dude above is a fella called Meco, Domenico Monardo to be exact. He was a pretty big name during the 1970's as a respected producer and trombonist. Playing on and producing records for Diana Ross, Neil Diamond, Gloria Gaynor and plenty of others. Things changed however, when in 1977 George Lucas released his cash vulture, Star Wars. Meco got pretty excited by this film. Even more excited by the stirring score courtesy of the always awesome John Williams. Meco hatched on the idea of creating a disco version. Of course, it was laughed at and not taken seriously. Who would believe that could work!
Meco believed and wouldn't let up. Luckily the score became a huge hit and the top brass relented, allowing him to see his idea through. Of course he would need a pretty sweet band to achieve this feat. The Sci-Fi Disco Band Meco was born.
Seriously
Despite looking like the outcome of letting Ming The Merciless assemble the Village People, the band managed to survive on the mean streets of New York for about 4 months performing live and providing a much needed visual element to this epic onslaught of disco. And it is an onslaught. The album contains the full 15 minute Star Wars suite encompassing the opening them, Imperial March, the cool flying music bits, all those schmaltzy parts and that stupid band in the bar. It also has robots dancing on the cover.
How about some crusty, Slovenian, old-school death metal all about apocalyptic warriors and nuclear wars?
I discovered these guys on one of those late night cruises around Bandcamp we all undertake when bored. Wade through numerous shitty bands before finding some gold. Its not quite polished gold yet in Hellcrawler's case but its nearly their. Ignore a few generic drops in riffing and they prove themselves pretty adapt at synthesising Motorhead, Entombed and Autopsy into big, nasty d-beat tunes with sludge overtones. They seem pretty into apocalyptic fiction due to the numerous samples from Mad Max and The Roadwarrior, another reason Illcon followers should dig it.
Don't go watching any of the videos of these boys on Youtube if you don't want the apocalyptic vision ruined. They don't look like crazed, bearded bikers, just some normal metal dudes.
Does the name Dale Schacker mean anything to you? Have you ever heard of such forgotten in time, animation cell wasting fodder as Denver The Last Dinosaur? Twinkle The Dream Being? How about Mr Bogus? If you answered "who the fuck cares" to any of those questions then fair play.. Dale Schacker was a musician and composer for the above mentioned cartoons as well as for the early 80's US version of Voltron. High on the success of Voltron : Defender Of The Universe, the studio, World Events Productions, bought up a Japanese anime titled Star Musketeer Bismarck. After altering key plot points, adding scenes, modifying content and basically dicking around with the format they released it onto TV screens as Saber Rider And The Star Sheriffs in 1987. Now, I will admit I had no clue whatsoever about this cartoon prior to becoming acquainted with the soundtrack about 3 years ago. In all honesty the actual series is pretty standard when compared to other 80's, space cowboy classics such as Bravestarr and Galaxy Rangers. What makes it, is the awesome soundtrack by Mr Dale Schacker. Awesome because he was granted full creative control to compose an entire score that would give the series its own identity and awesome for sounding like Bal-Sagoth playing Stan Bush songs while home invading Nickelodeon. Schacker packs the soundtrack with a ton of shredding, uber-processed 80's guitar, dramatic build ups, Morricone-esque motifs featuring harmonica and whip cracks, a slight touch of synthpop melody and various pieces of music that sound like those bits in The A-Team when they are building a tank out of a toaster and a lawn mower. Basically, its a pretty sweet compilation of tons of things most Illcon followers approve of. Need music to soundtrack those crappy chores? Here you go. Need music to soundtrack ignoring your girlfriend? Here you go. Need music to get ripped to? here you go. Saber Rider covers all your needs.
Need further convincing? Then wrap your ears around the awesome....
If your not sold yet then there really is something wrong with you, so included as bonus tracks are the French and Japanese theme tunes, a whole host of metal and rock versions of the main theme, a couple of remixes and a pretty boring interview with Schacker that they could have done without really.
P.S. The Saber Rider team had a huge robot cowboy thing titled Ramrod ( Bismarck in the original anime). As a kid, I had a catalogue for the inferior-to-Transformers GoBots which I am pretty sure featured a robot called Bismarck that was identical to the Saber Rider version. Can anyone shed any light on the Gobot connection?
HEY, Seattle! Go to this benefit for my nephew TANNOTH that had a hernia while thrashing around at the recent Unhalted Genocide show. He literally shit his guts into his nuts. Like, totally not joking, his intestines are in his scrotum.
I've been enjoying this "Guilty Pleasures Week" theme and just wanted to chime in with some of my own. I have kids so I listen to a lot of music about eating vegetables, looking both ways before crossing the street, marching ants, cows going moo and cats going meow and shit like that. It's all very catchy, very easy to listen to, and can get stuck in your head with alarming ease. As a result, I end up humming these songs while going about my day and eventually mixing them into the music I listen to at work. This, of course, results in increasingly strange looks from co-workers and customers who at first think I'm listening to normal adult music but quickly realize that I am listening to songs about talking donkeys and the yumminess of fruit salad. So in addition to my generally bad attitude, I also have very strange taste in music. Things seem awkward after that.
Here are two examples, both by this guy named Justin Roberts, who plays with the Not Ready for Naptime Players:
And, for the other parents out there, I've always liked this song by Fred Eaglesmith:
In reality I have several guilty pleasures, as I'm sure we all do. I've been "politely asked to leave" several adult drinking establishments for steadfastly refusing to lower my voice while singing along to this song. And I still have a poster with this chick on it somewhere (but, honestly, if you've seen someone six times in concert you need to keep some sort of memento, right?). And I've been lying to my best friend for ten years now about how much I like this song. If you're too lazy to click on the links they are: Bruce Springsteen, Tori Amos, and The Strokes, just so you know.
I believe the children are our are future Teach them well and let them lead the way Show them all the beauty they possess inside Give them a sense of pride to make it easier Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be.
Why the Whitney Houston lyrics, you ask? Easy: to make a point. That point: YOU (shown at right, holding a kid) are OLD. REALLY OLD. You have no future. You live a life devoid of hope or meaning. Children are our only hope, our only chance of salvation. You are obsolete, your youth squandered. LONG LIVE THE NEW FLESH. Case in point: ALL of you, every single one of you, was totally taken to Coloring School by two contestants under the age of 6.
That's right. Our winners are here, and this year, it's a TIE!
Firstly, we have the winning entry sent in by reader Chris G (another longtime blogbro), a wonderfully hand-crafted Crayola-on-paper creation spun from the mind of his own offspring. And I quote (via email):
"Hey Shelby, Here's an entry for the coloring contest from my 4 year old daughter, Unity. Unfortunately, due to her mom's insistance, the Miley Cyrus picture was deemed the only one which would not scar her mind for life.
Enjoy, Chris"
BAM!
Nice job, Unity! The check is in the mail*.
*There isn't, in fact, a check in the mail. But email me your address, Chris, and Unity can expect something soon. Thanks!
And finally, we have the last winning entry of the Third Annual Illogical Contraption Coloring Contest, a totally outside-the-box entry from my own nephew Carlos (right). That's right: anyone that has been reading for over a year knows the big news here--Carlos has won the Coloring Contest TWO years in a row now, without even the slightest hint of nepotism!
Words from my sister Tamara:
"Because my child is a NON CONFORMIST with a HEAVY METAL MOHAWK, he decided that your coloring options sucked (well, actually I couldn't show him all of them, due to the pornographic nature of some, but he wasn't very excited about the Spongebob Jesus that I selected and printed for him) and has instead opted to grace you with this amazing DINOSAUR (which has a penis, by the way) and ROBOT. Enjoy."
DOUBLE BAM!
Once again, thanks to everyone who participated. Keep an eye on the mailbox, Carlos. For real this time.
I’ve had one verse from a shitty 4 non blonde song stuck in my head for the past week. I live in a hell of my own design. Actively engaged in a personal sonic lobotomy has been my only reprieve from shitty femme folk rock of the 90’s that creeps its way into my subconscious like an unwelcome houseguest. Strong music is my antidote to such infestations. Death to all clear channel mediocrity. On a quest for aural glory, the battle continues.
In response to Cobra's recent disclosure of Dana Duffy lust while extolling the virtues of dirthead metal, smoking cheap weed and pursuing back issues of Fangoria with the band Mythic, I feel its necessary to illustrate that a similar dream is alive and thrives in North Portland. Enter Murderess.
Through assailing sonic chaos, they clearly have got a hard on for Swedish d-beat. While citing Bathory and Anti-Cimex influence in true homage to the sounds that abound, Murderess campaign with tight execution and drive conquering your sympathetic nervous system. Fight or flight!
Perhaps last summer’s pressing of their green and black vinyl LP entitled “The Last Thing You’ll Ever See” will save me from myself until some other shitty pop detritus flotsam oozes out from the woodwork. Until then I'll remain forever committed to resist pop radio warble provoking my equilibrium and prompting me to take matters into my own hands. They tour California in March. Go face the execution and be destroyed …
w/ Age of Collapse at the M Sat, Feb 19, Seattle WA
w/ Countdown to Armageddon at the Elbo Room Sat, Mar 19 San Francisco, CA
w/ Buried at Birth at Johnny V's Thu, Mar 24 San Jose, CA
Disturbing Trends In Youth "Rock Culture", Part 666
May the Gods bless Rockabilia.com. Not only is it an excellent spot to pick up sweet Immortal and Defeated Sanity gear without all the trouble of getting off the couch and going to shows, but it is also a lifeline of sorts for all of us Olds--a place where we can voyeuristically inspect the trends and fashion of our younger counterparts, laughing maniacally all the way. And what a strange and fascinating world it is, that of tween "rocker culture": a place where our septugenarian sensibilities are rendered obsolete, where the aesthetics of "metal" have turned into a neon teddy-bear nightmare unrecognizable to the faithful. Indeed, I cannot claim to "understand" the style or clothing of the age-challenged--that is a job for Sergeant D. What I can do is notice odd trends as I scan through my Rockabilia catalog in search of grim and frostbitten treasures, identify them, and then share them with you here, where we can all point, laugh, and speculate on what the future could possibly hold.
But enough talk, let's commence with the pointing and laughing.
I'll start with a very specific T-shirt trend, and then branch off into much more nebulous territory. That specific trend is the "art-less" T-shirt, with the word "FUCKING" added. Observe:
ATTACK! ATTACK!, "No Fucking Respect"
BORN OF OSIRIS, "Fuckin Bow Down"
AS BLOOD RUNS BLACK, "Bring The Motherfuckin Ruckus"
By far my favorite: ATTACK! ATTACK!, "Crab Fucking Core"
How do we know when a youth fashion movement has reached its proverbial "crest"? Easy: when the Olds start biting it. Again, observe:
"MACHINE FUCKING HEAD"
DEVIL DRIVER, "I Could Fucking Care Less"
ARCH ENEMY, "Pure Fucking Metal"
"FUCKIN SLAYER"
One more from the kids:
BLESS THE FALL (?)
Did anyone else notice something that this Bless The Fall (Beyatch?) shirt has in common with a few of the others? Namely the Born of Osiris and As Blood Runs Black designs up top there? If you answered "some sort of weird suburban-white-kid attempt at urban sensibilties", you win. The art-less "fucking" shirt trend is closely related to the "ironic ghetto" trend that so many young uhhh... "metal"? bands have embraced as of late. I suspect that this "ironic appreciation of hip-hop culture" in heavy metal will soon merge with the oncoming retro-nu-metal movement, leaving many rich suburbanite tweens confused about who exactly they are making fun of. But this is pure speculation. We'll just have to wait and see.
Until then, let's point and laugh at a couple more "ghetto metal" treasures:
OCEANO are "Bringin' The Beef"!(?)!
And yes, I am truly saddened to report that there is, in fact, a "rap-metalcore" band actually called DEEZ NUTS. I apologize.
Wow.
I'll throw a couple more unrelated designs at you before I get outta here, just a few random entries in the Rockabilia T-Shirt Hall of Fame:
And of course we can't forget our old friends IWRESTLEDABEARONCE:
Yep. Thoroughly depressing. Let's cheer up with a new video from Gold Panda (thanks to The Living Doorway for the recommendation):
Ahhhh, that's better. Maybe I'm not so out of touch with youth culture after all.
Before I go, and while we're still on the subject of the Rockabilia:
I'm sure many of you are planning on sending me anonymous Christmas gifts this year. It's totally cool, I appreciate it, and of course it's all part of the territory when it comes to the whole "Blog Hero-Worship" thing. But I've got some corny gifts in the past, and that shit needs to stop. Allow me to just drop one huge hint here, before I end this thing.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go rescue the President's daughter... FROM SPACE PRISON!
